Thoughts… off the shower

William tagged me to do this *mutters*grumbles*… well, since I’m adopting the stance of a student for these few days (haiz, studying for my CPA exam on 2nd Nov), I shall do a student-y thing… hehehee, makes me feel young again…

7 things that scare me:
- spiders…
- …and other menacing-looking insects
- quiet darkness
- the thought that I am but a speck (physically) in creation, but thank God He should reach out to me…
- being put in a situation where I have to do something i don’t know how to…
- that I could have scared/disappointed people away from God’s Kingdom…
- being asked to fill out 7 things when I’ve only got (say) 5…

7 random facts about me:
- I’ve never been slim/thin, have always been fat since birth!
- I’ve worn spectacles since 7-8 years old
- I studied Chinese as my first language until "A" levels (but don’t ask me now…)
- I tried Taoism & Buddhism to solve the mystery of life (before Christ found me)
- I have acted in stage productions 4 times during secondary school and college
- I love 80s dance music (Singaporeans know that as Zouk-style "Mambo Jumbo")
- I’ve preached (I prefer to call it "gave a message") 3 times, all since I got married

7 things I hope to do before I die:
- see my children grow up to be men/women of God
- be a great influence to Christians for God
- preach at a huge evangelistic rally
- visit & watch a match at Old Trafford (the theatre of dreams)
- travel around the world!
- earns lots of money (with which I can bless people), this was my childhood ambition…
- get back perfect eye-sight (even though I know that’s not important, considering the "Resurrection Body" that I will receive)

7 things I can do:
- sneeze 10 times in a roll
- defend my faith (well enough) using apologetics… which in itself does not bring people to salvation
- restrain myself into not smiling/laughing (i.e. keep a poker face) when required
- play mahjong (the real one, not the matching tiles one)
- play Championship Manager through many seasons (using the same team) without getting bored!
- give a public speech/message without much preparation (shamelessness)
- jump up and click my heels together on my right and left!

7 people who should fill this out:
…I shall not sabo anyone… but if you really feel like doing it, I’ll tag Jamie Choo and Jadely Seetoh!

OK… that’s enough, doing young people stuffs… ;-P

90% of thirty, nine x 3, 3 short of one-score, 7 past twenty…

Some ways of saying 27…  yes, finally, I’m 27 years old!  You don’t know how long the wait has been for me to reach this totally-insignificant milestone!  All of 27 years since I choked out that first baby cry in Kpg Kerbau Hospital (Singapore)…

Well, I’ve got three more years to get my life in order, before I hit the big 30.  Jesus started his ministry after he turned 30… maybe this is taking "becoming Christ-like" too literally and/or too extreme! 

There is so much for me to think about whenever I celebrate a birthday, as with many people.  But, interestingly, the thoughts this time round revolve not around the philosophical nor the theological, but it concerns celebratory matters.  I blame it on Mr Keasberry (who 2 weeks ago celebrated his quarter-century milestone - now, that’s significant!).  The reason being that he (or rather his gang) threw a blast of a party for him.  (Not that I’m jealous about it… *mutters*)  Anyways, my dearest wife decided that she wants to throw a party for me too!  WOW!!!  And so, we’re having one.  YEAH!!!  …but that causes to me recall: there has probably been only 2 occasions that I had proper birthday celebrations.

The first was when I was 12 years old - my mum prepared a feast and I had my classmates over.  That’s as much as I remembered.  2 photographs ensured I was reminded of that.

The second was for my 17th.  Kenneth, Jamie, Grace, Vivian, Jadely, Serena & Jeremy celebrated with me.  I remember we were at Centrepoint.  Someone suggested we bought food and then trek across to Fort Canning to "eat out".  At Fort Canning, they whipped out a birthday cake to surprise me!  That is a great memory.  Quite a number of photos (taken using a disposable Kodak camera) captured the memory of that night.

For many people, their 18th and/or 21st birthday celebrations are huge.  Not so for me.  My 18th was spent labouring for the "A" levels… hmm, maybe did celebrate, but I definitely can’t recall anything.  My 21st was more miserable.  I was alone in Adelaide (4 months after arriving), yet to make many friends.  None of the few knew when my birthday was, not even mentioning knowing I was turning 21.  And so, on that beautiful day, I walked to the nearby Foodland and bought myself a (cheapskate) "Black & Gold" branded Chocolate Bavarian cake.  That was it.  Quite poignant, I must say…

But now, as I turn 27, I find myself gearing up for (possibly) my biggest ever birthday celebration this weekend… and all organised by my darling wife.  See, told you married life is fantastic! 

I have been thinking… but they have just been reactionary, knee-jerk-like thoughts… not the in depth ones…

…thus, no posts for 5-6 days…

Once I clear my mind a bit, the thoughts will flow… till then, be patient! 

Laine called me "stable".  It sounded a bit funny at first, because that’s a term I associate with discharging a psychiatric patient.

This was what happened:
Once again, we were chatting, before falling asleep.  Can’t remember what we were talking about, but I said something like this: "…like when I read/hear news of a crime or a natural disaster, I will feel sad here (pointing to head), but no engagement here (points to heart).  Only when something is directly related to me, then it affects here (points to heart)."  I explained that I have intellectual reactions (agreeing or objecting, being pleased or feeling sad) to affairs that are not related to me, but only issues close to me will draw an emotionally-charged response.  As for my dear wife, she teared when reading news of the climbing death toll in the Pakistan-Kashmir earthquake.  Laine thought for a while about what I said, and declared "you are a stable person".

She explained that because I am stable, I do not get flustered by things around me.  I am calm, steady and analytical.  Guess that’s probably a good thing.  Laine added that my emotions on a heart-monitor-like chart would look something like "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _" (and she accompanied that with a low-tone "eeeeeeeeeee" for added effect).  Then she corrected herself, and said it would be more like "- - - - - - - - -" (with a higher-pitch "eeeeeeeee"), because I’m quite hyper or energetic and talkative!  Haha… my wonderful wife…  Finally, she added: "you write this on your blog lar…"  …and so, I did!

Oh, by the way, she calls me a "funny, loving, stingy accountant" on her blog.  OK.  2 of 3 being good attributes is a good enough result.  Thanks…

At least, I was declared stable.

Last night, while lying in bed, I bounced my idea of "LOVE vs LIKE" to Laine (she was half-asleep & I was still trying to chat… actually, she said "just keep on talking…)

The way I look at it:

Love is directed at the subject’s personality/chararcter/being; Like is consequential of the subject’s actions/speech/outward physical expressions

Love is not merited; Like can be sought or induced

For example, Laine loves me (yeah!) but she does not like my determination to play computer games for more than an hour.  There are probably many things that Laine does not like about me, but I know that does not diminish the love she has for me.  The same goes for me.  Perhaps, that’s why couples in love do quarrel, but when the "spur of the moment" has died down, both parties seek the forgiveness of the other, because the love is still strong.

Love is most definitely superior to like.

It’s very tempting to apply this to God’s love.  God made us in His image, and I believe that our very emotions can very dimly reflect the emotions of God.  What we learn of ourselves, when we prostulate it towards perfection, we perhaps gain a slightly clearer picture as to a facet of God.  We know that God loves us unconditionally, in spite of our rebellion.  We also know that God dislikes many things we do.  We can combine the 2 statements as "God does not like many things we do, but He still loves us".  The worse thing is, what we do that He dislikes is SIN, it’s lawlessness.  Sin is not just rebellion against God, it is the very act of rebellion that is sin.  Sin is a very sinister declaration of our independence from our Creator God - "not Your way, my way!"  Our sinful behaviour is (figuratively speaking) like a spit unto the Face of God, which God (in His Holiness) hates.  But, God does deeply love us.  He loves us, because His very nature is Love, because we are His, and maybe because we have the capacity to respond to Him in a most heart-felt manner that no other created being of His can.  A most amazing thing (that I believe) is: when we commit the most heinous crime against His very nature, our signal on God’s "love radar" does not even suffer the slightest blip!  God loves us - 100 million times more than the greatest feeling of absolute love and adoration that we are capable of.

WOW!  What a loving God.  And, this tremendous love of God reflects the unsurpassed Glory of His Being…

I don’t like my nose.  Actually, it’s the part that can’t be seen, in the sinus area of my skull.  It gets very irritated when dust and pollen come-a-calling.  It does not stop rejecting those uninvited pollutants with vigorous 100km/s sneezes…

I don’t like my eyes.  You just have to look at the aluminium-cum-glass ornament I balance on my nose to figure out why.  Take away that ACGO, everyone looks the same, and I’d be none the wiser if a lamp-post sneaks up in front of me…

I don’t like my skin.  It complains to me far too much with spontaneous eruptions of red.  The well-bitten nails on my fingers ensure that those itchy-scratchy derma-tinglings go unsatisfied…

…wow… guess I’m just having one of those allergic-rhinitis-influenced days…